Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Well, That Was a Trip!!

So I just recently got back from a trip to Kentucky to visit my dad with my youngest girl and I had quite the adventure I must say! And I learned a lot about myself and about parenting, which you would think after four kids there wouldn't be much else to learn, but by golly I think it is definitely a lifetime of learning!!

Before we left I was panic-stricken about traveling alone with a baby....I have never in my life gone anywhere by myself, let alone with another person I am responsible for!  I did not think I could do it - didn't think I was smart enough to find my way, didn't think I could handle the baby in a strange place, didn't think we would get there in one piece.

All of my fears were for nothing though, seeing as I have

1.  the best baby on the face of the planet, who loved the plane ride, had no issues with her ears, being stuck in a seat, being quiet, or rushing at top speeds through an airport on little to no napping....

2.  completely underestimated myself and my abilities of getting the job done...

3.  a wonderful, amazing, gracious God on my side who was with me the entire way.

On our first flight we sat next to a cranky woman who seemed to hate kids and just wanted to read her biography on the Obama's while she highlighted random sentences like "Obama likes the color red."  Despite Emerson's numerous attempts to win her over she would just nudge her tiny hand away with her elbow and read on.....jerk.  Whatever, we had a great time playing with her puppy and kitty and reading her books about puppies and kitties (can you tell what her latest obsession is?).

On the second flight we got lucky and no one sat next to us so Emmy got her very own seat!  She did so good but started to get bored towards the end so mommy whipped out God's gift to mothers who need to get their kids to magically behave in public - sugar.

Little Em sat happily smiling away and hamming it up as she sucked on her first ever lollipop. :)

In between flights we had a nice brisk sprint to the end of the airport to make the shuttle bus, which drove us a mile to another section, where we got to sprint again to our terminal before the plane left - ahhhh just made it!!

When we finally touched down we had to drive two hours to my dad's house - needless to say, when we finally got there we were trashed.....but we had a fabulous time with papaw and my extended family who had  never seen the baby before in person.

So all too soon the trip was over and it was time to come home - it began with a drive back to the airport and a long wait at ticketing where they said they could not get the baby's boarding pass to print and that I needed to get it at the terminal.....then a mad dash to security where they told me I could not get through without her boarding pass and that ticketing was full of crap for saying that....then a dash back to ticketing to force them to print the pass...and back to security which is a barrel of laughs all on its own.....

After security was the usual break-neck sprint (seriously have never run that fast pushing a stroller in my life) to the terminal where I arrived just in time to see my airplane pulling away from the gate........

After slightly panicking and fighting back tears of frustration and helplessness, I began the long walk back to ticketing to find out when the next flight was....only to discover that even if I got on it I would not make it back to Albany until the next day (it was 7pm at night already).

I made plans to leave the next morning at 7am sharp and then realized that I had a few slight problems....

1.  if I rode back to my dad's house I would have to get up at 330 in the morning in order to make it back to the airport in the morning....

2.  I may have missed my flight but my suitcase and car seat were on their way to Philly, leaving me stranded at the airport without a way to legally leave it....

3.  I had a very tired, very hungry baby and literally nothing but the clothes on our backs....

I knew I had to pull it together, so I told my dad (who had stayed behind, praise the Lord!) that we were going to drive illegally (without a car seat) to the nearest store to buy one, then find a hotel room.

We got a car seat and some snacks and got a room at the nearest hotel, which boasted a room with double beds, a ghetto crib, and absolutely no white noise at all.  At 930pm we decided to just turn the lights out in hopes that the baby would go to sleep somehow, so I got into my bed fully dressed in my jeans and t shirt, still sweaty, with dirty teeth, and listened to my daughter whine in the crib that was inches from me.

Somehow my dad managed to fall asleep, and God love him, he started snoring so loud it scared Emerson, who began crying loudly....I put her in my bed with me and debated using the last bars I had on my phone to play a white noise app....I decided against it but after 4 hours of tossing and turning with Em, I said screw it and bought the dang thing - ahhhhhh....lovely pouring rain.......

She finally fell asleep and began thrashing around, hitting me in the face with her little fists until the alarm went off at 5am, when we both eagerly sprang out of bed and we all left for the airport - with a dead cell phone - ugghhh...oh well, it was worth it....

We made it back to the airport and to the terminal, filthy, smelly, and utterly exhausted, but after 3 hours of flying, 2 hours of sprinting through airports, and 1 baggage claim later, we made it safely home.......home......home......

Even though the end was rough, I am so grateful we were able to go - we had a wonderful time.  I learned lots things that week - the best lesson being that I can do anything with God on my side, and that when a crisis occurs I am capable of handling much more than I ever thought I could - so if you have feelings of insecurity as a parent, remember that you are "braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."  :)

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Confessions of a Stomach Bug

So two weeks ago my kids came down with a nasty stomach virus.  You know the type - and if you don't, let's just say it was not the pukes.  I actually think my husband started it - but it is hard to tell since he seems to constantly suffer from bowel issues (at least that is his excuse for spending way too much time in the bathroom - he might be just trying to escape from his family for a while to play angry birds....)

Anyways, I totally thought I was in the clear...the kiddos seemed better, and my in-laws even offered to take them on Saturday so we could go out ALONE.....I know what you are thinking, and you are so right...

It was too good to be true.

After the hubster drops them off so I can leisurely get ready (which means getting to do both my makeup and my hair instead of choosing between them), we head to the mall.  As soon as we enter LLBean to buy our son his first backpack for Kindergarten, I feel that sudden rumbling that says all is definitely not well.  I try to ignore it, but it quickly evolves into that sharp terrible agony that doubles you over.  My hands feel clammy, my head feels hot, and I have this overwhelming sensation that everyone is staring at me.

After spending quite a while in their surprisingly homey bathroom, nothing happens so I think maybe it was a fluke.


We leave LLBean and start to walk through the mall and suddenly - it hits me.


Like, you better run because you might not make it, hard.

 Oh geez....

I book it to the nearest bathroom and run in.  The whole room already smells like death and I decide that it is a good thing - no one can blame it on me. The only stall open is the handicapped stall so I quickly shut the door and realize it won't won't even stay shut.


I wedge my purse strap in the door to hold it shut and do my business.

And do my business again.

And again.

And, yep, you guessed it - again.

At this point all I can think of is that scene from Dumb and know the one.  As I contemplate the similarities, I hear the flutter of annoyingly high pitched teenage girl voices speaking in French enter the room.

Oh God.

They start preening and gossiping in the mirror, while I sit dying five feet away with a paper thin wall separating us.  With giant cracks in the side of the door (why do they make them like that??).

They continue to babble away unintelligibly until I hear a phrase I can definitely decipher - "uugghh, blah blah blah....le pew!!"

That's right - they are saying that I French.

All of this wouldn't have been so terrible, after all, they had no idea what I even looked like....

And then my purse falls to the floor and the door slowly swings open.

Panicked, I try desperately to push it shut again with my foot....and I fall short by about two feet since the handicapped stall is the size of my garage.

Yep, here I am, a pathetic, disheveled, almost *cough30cough* year old woman... pooping my brains front of all of you young, pretty, freaking French girls.

After I gather as much self respect as I can muster, I drag myself out into the mall again.

Only to run right back in.

And on our way home, (where I will spend the next three days discovering a new found respect for angry birds), I think to myself - hey, at least I didn't have the kids with me!

Yep, there is always that.   :)

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Little Bucket Lovin'

So the other day I was at Target and found these little beauties in the dollar spot.....

They are cooler than the usual little buckets in the dollar spot because they have chalkboards...because it's impossible to buy chalkboard stickers and slap them on a bucket...i know, i know....but i was excited :)

I couldn't immediately think of what I would want to do with them so I grabbed four and took them home with me, my mind spinning with the possibilities...

My first idea was to do an advent calendar like the Pottery Barn one I have loved since I first saw it - here it is...

Looovvveee!! And it would be so easy to do - I just need to find the wall space for it and buy twenty one more buckets lol - maybe if i bought two or three every week till December? Hmmmm...... I also love this one - but the rusty look is way prettier than galvanized....

Oh my word - couldn't love this more - think I could leave them out in the rain and make them rusty??

Then I thought of using them for the kids to make an art station and put things like chalk and crayons in them, sort of like this....

But I don't know if my kids are old enough for it - the three year old already thinks the walls are his construction paper, Lord knows he doesn't need the instruments hanging on it....

I also did like this idea though - how adorable is this bedroom??

So stinkin'cute!! I also love love this idea for the buckets - they would look awesome in the boy's room -

The maps were decoupaged onto the bucket - totally doable!!

Another idea I had was to use them for herbs - sort of like this....

or this.....

LOVE it!!!

And lastly, I thought of using them in my brand spanking new crafting room (which is being taken over by my husband right now but not for long pal....) for holding all of my small items - like this.....

and like this....

Be still my heart - that wall is GAW-GEOUS!!!!

So anyways, I think I will keep buying them little by little until i figure it out - I can always buy them for the advent calendar and use them for other things during the rest of the year - I mean, hey, they have chalkboards for crying out loud lol!!!

What would you do with them??


Thursday, August 9, 2012

Christmas in August!

So what do you do when your kids are driving you up the wall during summer vacation and you have run out of ideas to entertain them? Why, you have Christmas in August of course!! I had a strange craving to watch a christmas movie and it kind of snowballed from kept us busy all morning and then we all took a fabulous nap!  Here are some highlights from our holly jolly day :)

We had some super yummy hot chocolate...and made pumpkin muffins...which we enjoyed while watching the single most amazing Christmas movie of all time.....

thats right, A Christmas Story....the boys especially love the running away from the bully scenes ("Scut Farkus....he had yellow eyes! so help me God, yellow eyes!")  Sigh.....I love it so much it's a little scary...the only problem with letting the kids share my passion is having to lie to them and tell them that he did actually say fudge ;)

We also wrapped presents of course - they had a blast running around the house finding things to wrap - and i must say, they have inherited my talent for wrapping - (i mean, come's going to be ripped open anyways, who cares what it looks like??)

We decorated the tree while listening to Christmas music after I retrieved everything from the pit of despair that is our crawl space...they were totally into that part....(I mean watching me fight off the mammoth spider that apparently felt lonely for human contact, although the decorating was fun too)...

The two younger boys went right to "sleep" so Santa could come (Gavin in my bathrobe)...

And then we opened our presents....

and Emmy girl checked out the tree (from a distance)....

When it was all said and done the boys begged me to leave it up so they could play again, which is why there are still ornaments strewn all over their bedroom....but it was worth it...

So what crazy things have you done to entertain your kids??

Friday, July 6, 2012

A Typical Day

It’s 6:30 am. 

Even before I sluggishly peel my eyelids open, I can hear them. 

The screams radiate through the floorboards into my bedroom, abruptly ending the serenity of the dream I was having.  I hear their little feet slamming onto the floor of the living room as they practice “flying.”  It always amazes me how a person who weighs the same as my cat can sound like a nuclear war.

As I slowly open my eyes I suddenly choke back a scream as they are met with another pair only one inch away.  They belong to the three year old, who has been standing there silently, staring at me while I sleep.  As I struggle to regulate my heart rate he smiles sweetly at me and holds up his ten pound, completely saturated diaper.

“I go potty mommy,” he says, and runs out of the room.  I wince, thinking of what this might mean.  Stumbling into the hallway, I stop to open the door to the baby’s room and get hit instantly by a wall of vile odor.

After changing her, I walk to the bathroom and slowly push open the door.  I swear I can hear horror movie music as I take in the scene before me.  He had gone potty all right – everywhere but in the actual potty (how in the name of gravity did he get the ceiling??).  Not able to face it, I close the door and head downstairs. It will still be there after breakfast.

In the kitchen – the door to the fridge hangs open.  A carton of milk lies on its side on the floor, the white liquid stretching the entire length of the room.  Grabbing a dirty towel from the pile of clothes the hubby seemed to think would add to the decor of our counter top, I mop it up and throw the dripping mess in the sink.  Of course there isn’t a drop left for the now screaming baby who must have her milk in the morning or someone will die – so I desperately grab for the half and half and add another half – of water (so that chemistry class comes in handy after all!).  She sucks it down and ploughs into the banana I carelessly throw onto her tray.

I quickly see the other three have already had their breakfast – gazing upon the empty yogurt tubes on the rug, blueberries ground into the couch cushions, and an entire box of cheerios piled in the center of the floor of the living room.

After everyone has had second breakfast, I am finally able to feed myself.  Feeling my blood sugar rising, I decide to get crazy and fill up the kiddie pool.  I turn on the hose, go back inside to free the baby from her highchair, and suddenly feel a blast of arctic water spraying my backside.  Spinning around, I see that the five year old has brought the hose into the house and is now turning the dining room into Sea World.  Screaming, I force him back outside and manage to turn it off, crying out in exasperation the only word I can manage – "WHY??? "

His reply -- “I wanted to tell you the water was too cold.”

After two hours of splashing, screaming, crying, slipping, and yet one more bowel movement (I knew I should have put that swimmy diaper on!), I dry them, dress them, and begin the marathon that is lunch.  Afterwards I carry their squirming little bodies up to take a nap, screaming all the way.  (Why is it always such a shock to them every day that they have to take a nap?)

When they are finally silent, I thoroughly clean up every single mess that has been made in all sixteen-hundred square feet of the house.  When that is done I decide to put my feet up for just a few minutes.  As soon as I melt into the couch and my eyes close, I hear the pitter patter of little feet thundering down the stairs joyfully and realize it has been two hours – so much for that….

They play happily right up until their father comes home from work, which for some strange reason seems to be their cue to transform into hell monkeys.

After the original dinner is served and pushed aside, fed to the dog, watered with tears of agony, and regurgitated back up (what is so God-awful about meatballs??), they eat their peanut butter sandwiches and get thrown around the room by daddy for a while. 

Now begins the bath circus, the naked kid parade, and the boxing match over what story to read.  Then they jump around the room for an hour while the hubby and I fold the Mt.Vesuvius of laundry on our bed.

It’s 11:30 pm.


I gleefully jump into bed, fight back tears of joy as my head feels the sweet coolness of the pillow and take in the sweet aroma of fabric softener.  The soft warm blankets get pulled up to my chin; the hum of the air conditioner begins to lull me back to dreamland.

And that’s when I open my eyes one last time and receive a jolt as I see those same big brown eyes staring happily into mine.  “Mommy…I go potty again!!”


Thursday, July 5, 2012

Aaaah....the life :)

 I wrote this a couple of years ago and it still makes me laugh out loud - since then we have added one more to the brood but other than that not much has changed - hope it gives you a smile today :)

 Believe it or not, I use to be a size two. Shoes were my life, carbs were no match for my metabolism rate, and my biggest fear in life was visible pantylines.
Then I got pregnant.
And now, three years and three consecutive children later, my day begins at five am with rushing to get the hungry, screaming baby before he wakes his brothers. After twenty minutes of bitterly watching my husband snore while I sit half awake with an infant attached to my breast, I proceed to groggily pat his back, only to have him let out an enormous belch and spew milk down the front of my night shirt. After cursing loudly and handing the now happy, cooing child over to my bewildered husband, I quickly realize my mistake as I hear the toddlers in the next room start bouncing off the walls and laughing. Grudgingly, I open their door after struggling with the duct-taped doorknob cover and watch as they stampede past me and down the hall.
After changing my clothes for the first of fifteen times for the day I kiss my husband goodbye and head downstairs to make breakfast. Despite my rough start to the morning I feel ambitious and decide to make pancakes, eggs, sausage. Ten minutes later there is more food on the floor than in their bellies, there is juice covering the front of my second shirt, and I am hearing cries of "I'm still hungry!"
Biting my lip to keep from saying something not rated G, I wipe them up and herd them down to watch cartoons. After applying mascara while helping my two-year-old son get his head unstuck from between the pedestal sinks I quickly throw clothes on and put them all in the car. I realize as I look back in the rear view mirror that they are all still in their jammies, but I decide I don't even care and head for the nearest playground before I am driven insane by the Wiggles singing about the potty.
As I am getting out of the car, I look down and see the tell-tale lines where my underpants are and let out a loud gasp as I think to myself, "Thank God I remembered to put on underwear!"

And I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. :)

Friday, June 29, 2012


Hey everybody!! 

I am so excited about this blog - I hope you will be too - all you moms (and dads) out there know just how tough it is to be a parent, and we all need a good laugh now and then (or every minute of the day) to make it through this adventure.  I really hope that you can find that here, along with some other fun ideas to keep those adult brains from being turned to mush thanks to Dora the Explorer :)

I love being a mom - I think I was made to do this - but that doesn't mean I don't find it difficult - four kids in four years is definitely a recipe for chaos - and that is just what you will find at my house - ask anyone who knows me haha!  

I want other moms out there to know it is totally normal to feel like your life is completely out of control - (and most days for me it is!)  But if you try to find the humor in your failures as a mom you will notice it is much easier to accept your lack of control and embrace it - and have way more fun being a mother!

So here is our outlet - a place we can air our dirty diapers and get things off of our chests - and laugh until "a little pee comes out!"  Because why in the world did we choose to ruin our bodies and forgo sleep for years if not to truly enjoy our children??  Let's all get together and "Grin and Share It" :)